10 Minute Reviews

Blogging again

2006-03-28T17:12:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I last posted a 10 minute review, but I'm back. Stay tuned for new and improved reviews.

Family Discussion of Patriots Playoff Victories

2005-01-24T13:11:00.000-08:00

Two weeks ago my brother had this to say about the Patriots' victory over the Indianopolis Colts --

Subject: Peyton Who?
I said it when he was leaving Tenn. (granted back then I'd also said he'd never amount to anything, and about three/four years ago I had to revise that part of my assessment and admit he was gonna do well in the NFL...but this part of my statement remains:)

PEYTON MANNING WILL NEVER WIN THE BIG GAME!!!

He's a cry baby. Shaking his head all disappointed in himself or a teammmate, cause he's too much of a pussy to stand in there and take it if a reciever drops a pass, or something goes wrong. The littlest thing goes wrong and he's whining like the little confederate coward that he is. And what does Tom Brady do?

WIN WIN WIN!!! So solid. So handsome, compared to that colt oaf with his stupid horsehead bobbing side to side when he walks like its loose on his neck... "awwwwwesshuuuuuuuucckks, dang it all", you can hear him say because he still thinks he may not get into heaven if he uses curse words.

TOM BRADY + FOOTBALL = MAN
peyton manning + FOOTBALL = horseheaded confederate coward!

This week, he wrote this about the victory over the Steelers --

Subject: Not So Big Ben!
I told my friend from Pittsburgh that if Big Ben beats us I'm calling him Ruthlessberger instead of his real name. Now we can call him Fruitlessberger. We are the best team in the History of the NFL. Playing in Pitt, was like riding a bus and intimidating everyone on it. We harassed and intimidated Bettis on every carry, made him fumble, and generally made his last career game in the NFL, a failure he'll never forget. Too bad seems like an ok guy...even if he is a LOSER!!! Like all Steelers fans and the whole city of Indianapolis before them.

Owing my former hometown of Syracuse nothing more than great childhood, Donovan McNabb may be officially known from now on as Donovan McFADD. For just like Gayton Manning he'll have a hall of fame career between September and January. Then the Fad fades. For we all know the true February Freezer is and always will be Tom Brady and The New England Patriots. aka THE DYNASTY!!!

Then my father, in an attempt to reign in his trash-talking son, wrote --

To disrespect Pitt and Indy, which are both good teams, is to minimize the accomplishments of the Pats. These are both good teams and so are the Eagles. That the pats seemed to have an easy time with them belies the fact that the pats are such a well prepared, and fundamentally sound team with players that are so multi-dimensional. And their lack of showboating is a welcome relief. The coaches and the team work so well together it is a pleasure to watch.

Best team ever? Maybe, but the Dolphins and the Steelers were pretty good. They are certainly a unique NFL team for right now. And Belichick is a coach who is willing to admit mistakes and correct them. When Cower said last week " we're sticking with what we do best" he was a dead man. Now the Pats know the game plan. I thought Payton and Ben played very well but they thay had to play the hand they were dealt by the coach.

The great thing about the pats coaches is they get the players to do different things. If there is one thing about football coaches at all levels they are stubborn and conservative. There is a reason they are mostly all republicans. We will see is Andy Reed is in that mold.

Review of the NBA Melee

2004-11-23T11:44:00.000-08:00

If you don't know what the NBA Melee is, please read the Sports Guy's piece on ESPN2 -
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/041123

I don't really think any less of anybody after this. This is what the NBA is for the most part, and this incident will help propel the NBA into the future.

Baseball went through a period in the 90s when people weren't interested. Ticket sales were down, interest was waning. Then out of nowhere the Sosa/Maguire home run battle began.
The sport was totally revitalized. That type of inter-racial respectful competition was exactly what baseball fans love, and since then the sport has been bigger than ever. (Note: this popularity is also largely due to the Wild Card system that keeps more teams in playoff contention than ever before.)

The NBA attracts some of the same fans as baseball, but in general the fan base is comprised of a harder sort. Thugs from the hood and meat heads may be a stereotype so we can't assume the whole fan base fits those descriptions, but let's assume NBA fans, like NFL fans, value toughness.

A mechanic told me the day after the incident that if somebody throws a beer on you then you should knock them out. No matter what. He said, "I don't care if you're a millionaire ball player, as soon as that beer is thrown you gotta throw down. I thought it was great. The best Sportscenter I ever seen."

This incident will totally revitalize NBA interest with their base. There are marketing execs at the NBA right now thanking their lucky stars for beer, the Detroit fans and Ron Artest.

The Grand Old Jesus Party

2004-11-09T13:48:00.000-08:00

Here's my post-election analysis -- the Republicans won b/c of the Jesus freaks. Period.

I happen to know some Republicans but they're the rich kind, not the moral kind (these concepts are indeed mutually exclusive). So every time I see one of them I'm going to say "You're a republican? How's Jesus? So you hate gay people, huh?" Many fiscal conservatives don't give a rat's ass about moral issues, they just like the tax cuts and don't like rampant government spending. (Ironic note: the vast majority of the Federal budget comes from taxes from blue states and goes to red states.)

The Republican party needs to own up to its Protestant base. Whomever emerges as the Democratic party's leader (rumors are that Howard Dean will emerge as the head of the DNC) in the coming years should make it their aim to pull in the fiscal conservatives and thus make the Repub party comprised entirely of Jesus freaks. In fact, Howard Dean said on Charlie Rose that only a liberal can balance the budget. Deficits have grown substantially under Republican presidents in my lifetime, and have only been eliminated under Democratic presidents.

The only problem the Dems have is they would never give the top 1% earners as much as the Repubs. So I think if somebody like Robert Rubin or Warren Buffet explained why our way -- balanced budgets, government surpluses, more money invested in the markets from the middle class -- will make people more money over time that would help.

Even if 40% of the country is Evangelical and every last one of them voted Republican (which did not actually occur in this 2004 election), this group in and of itself isn't enough to control the country. The GOP, under George Bush, has become the Jesus party. If the Democrats are successful, they will repaint the GOP as such and convert fiscal conservatives over to the party that more wholly represents their views, the Democratic Party.

In related news, http://www.fuckthesouth.com/

Ode to Yankee Fandom

2004-10-29T15:19:00.000-07:00

I received this email from a Yankee fan -

now that the sox interminable quest for baseballs holy grail has been successful i have absolutely no idea what you psychotic, overemotional, overbearing fans will find to whine, carp, wallow in self pity, lament, commiserate, complain, bitch about now. Oh yeah, it will be after your next loss. i hope you all are above the typical Sox fan who considers this win as erasing 86yrs, 9 more than the average life span, of total failure, disappointments, and underachievemants. To think in that same time frame the Yankees have amassed some 27 titles. A-ways to go my friends. I'm sure what is most disturbing to you is now that the mystique and aura are gone the sox are just another team that has won a title, and few of them. You are now the Tampa Bay Bucs, Ben Affleck, or Zager & Evans. Here's hoping it's another 86yrs before you win another one. There, i feel much better.

Here was my response -

What's troubling about Yankee fans is that they're consistently unable to simply be happy with (and humble about) their own success, despite their payroll. Instead, they find true enjoyment in the sorrow of others, particularly Sox fans.

Therein lies the difference between us and them. The Pats are nearly unstoppable in the Belichick era and we don't say much about that. The Celtics are the most successful franchise in the history of Basketball, but we're pretty cool about that too. Now the Sox have won and most of us are just happy to have won, once -- we're not proclaiming to be the A's daddy or rubbing it in anybody's face that we just crushed numerous records. We're just happy for our team, our town and our families.

So, good luck with that anger-based Yankee fandom and good luck to the Yankee franchise, even if Pedro pitches for them next year.

John Kerry Takes The Lead

2004-10-11T14:14:00.000-07:00

According to most polls, John Kerry has gained more momentum from the debates than President Bush. In general, Bush was leading before the debates; Kerry is leading, only slightly, after the debates.

The fact that Kerry's leads are so slim are a testament to Bush's stronghold on his Testament-fearing base. He has recently produced a video about how his faith has guided him as President -- complete with a split-screen showing him next to Jesus "the Passion of the" Christ -- which will be distributed to churches around the country.

One popular school of thought in the general public is stating that if Bush simply admitted that Iraq was a mistake, but that we must win now that we're there (currently Kerry's position), he'd be leading by double digits. This is effectively saying that Kerry is only leading because Bush is bullheaded and has made mistakes.

Kerry has done a very effective job at standing up to the President and, as the writers of Saturday Night Live put it, because he "won a talking contest" or two. Bush can only handle so much bad news -- poor jobs numbers, the report proving Iraq had no WMD, poor debate performances -- before people look to Kerry. But disliking Bush may not motivate enough voters to actually come out and vote for Kerry; many may just stay home.

So Kerry's new challenge will be to convey his specific plans to pull us through Iraq, and his specific plans to improve our lives at home: spur growth in the economy and reduce the exploding defecit, make healthcare less expensive and more widespread, prevent terrorist attacks, protect Roe v. Wade, etc.

His plans were laid out in the 2nd debate, but he'll really need to drive them home in the 3rd to give people a compelling reason to vote for him. My hunch is he'll get that done and win the Presidency.

Generations of New England Suffering

2004-10-07T13:14:00.000-07:00

This just in from a friend -

I was talking to my Dad during the game last night and the bases were loaded and Manny was up. Here's what was said, after talking only about the Red Sox up to that point:

Arty: So, anything else going on?
Me: No, not really, you know.
Arty: Manny's up with the bases loaded.
Me: We probably shouldn't get off the phone.
Arty: Yeah, I know. Anything else going on?
Me: No. Oh, he walked him. We'll take it. Ortiz is up.
Arty: We should probably stay on the phone.
Me: Yeah, you're right.
Arty: So, nothing else is new? (disinterested in anything but the game,really)
Me: Not really, just this. Shit, he's out. (Bellhorn is picked off at 2nd, leading too far off the bat) We should of gotten off thephone.
Arty: Yeah, we should have. Oh well. Our fault.
Me: Okay, Dad, we'll talk to you Friday.
Arty: Okay, Bye.

Classic conversation between men. Go Sox.

The Red Sox Have Nothing to Prove to the Yankees

2004-10-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

Here is an email exchange between me and a friend today, after the Red Sox took the lead on Anaheim 2-0. Here and now, in this 10 minutes, I'd like to begin a movement in Red Sox Nation to stop acting so "yankee inferior."

Him --

3 ks by the bullpen last night was so tight. I also loved Damon stealing 2nd after Roberts got out. These guys just pick each other up time and time again. It's something else.

Remember last year how bad we felt after game 2? This is just so much easier. Furthermore, in your heart of hearts, if you are completly honest with yourself, you want the Yankees in the next round. I was rooting forthe Twins to pull one out last night, but I know that this thing should go through NY. I'm not saying I won't accept another opponent, but you kind of have to face your fear here.

Remember when the Celtics played theRockets in '86 after the Lakers got bounced early? It just wasn't quite the same thrill taking down Sampson and Olajuwon instead of Kareem andMagic. That being said, it was still totally awesome and Bird had an incredible Game 6. Okay, that's a different subject.

Nevertheless, get your brooms out for Friday in Fenway. This was the first time the Sox have won Game 2 since the '86 World Series. And I don't thinkthey've swept anybody since one of the World Series at the beginning of last century.

This is the year.

My Response --

I completely see your point (and last year I agreed) but I don't think it'll diminish a WS victory if the yanks lose this round. It's not that they scare me or anything, but we're 11-8 this year and it just doesn't matter. They are the best franchise in the history of baseball, and beating them this year to win the WS isn't going to make up for squat.

It'll just be sweet in and of itself. It's not about them, it's about us.

The First Kerry/Bush Debate, Sept 30th, 2004

2004-10-01T15:26:00.000-07:00

For the first time I can remember George W. Bush was on the defensive. Let's recap -

Recount in Florida: he's on the offensive
Huge surplus, attempting to pass the biggest tax cut in history: he's on the offensive
Spyplane gunned down in China: he's on the offensive
September 11th: he's on the offensive (after he left that classroom)
Iraq: he's on the ultimate offensive

This is a guy who knows nothing but offense, and nearly said so in the debate last night. Frankly, a large portion of his support comes from the fact that he is so proactive and, well, offensive. But last night Kerry had him playing defense.

Kerry attacked him from the opening bell (sorry for the boxing metaphor, but the news media have been dropping boxing metaphors all week and they've apparently rubbed off). Bush looked more like Gore in the 2000 debates than himself over the past 4 years of governing. He was sighing and blinking really quickly and gobbling down his water and - I'd never noticed this before - twitching. Bush with a facial tick? Very odd.

My proverbial red debate light went on so I've got 30 seconds left.

Kerry went on offense and Bush, like a quarterback feebly trying to tackle a defensive lineman who's just recovered a fumble, didn't know how to play defense. Bush gets his information from his advisers, not the news media. He famously doesn't read the newspapers and it's reported that only Fox News is played on televisions in the West Wing. He isn't used to being attacked and he didn't know how to handle the face to face criticism.

To put it another way, last night Kerry offended Bush.

Fenway Park, Saturday, September 25th

2004-09-27T13:11:00.000-07:00

It's a beautiful September afternoon in Boston, the sky is blue with a few white wisps of clouds, and as we approach the oversized CITGO sign we begin to feel the buzz. Homemade signs begging for tickets crop up as we cross the parking lot and head toward Yawkey Way. Vendors are everywhere, as are fans of all shapes and sizes wearing various shades of red and white. We finish the mini Jameson bottle and head into the Park. The pizza at Fenway is delicious, the beer and bathroom lines move quickly and I'm proud to finally get a new Sox cap from inside the Fens. We're off to a solid start.

We take our seats, make friends with the fans around us and collectively hope for the best.

The game starts improbably with 3 pop-ups to the catcher. We discuss if this has ever happened before, assuming it has but unable to recall if and when. The game battles back and forth for 8 agonizing innings and we continue to drink heavily. Tito is thrown out after a bad call allows a game tying run on a double that should've invoked the ground rule. We cheer, drink and worry.

Then, in the 8th, the fabled Sox break it wide open. High fives are slapped, beers are willingly spilled, popcorn flies and we scream as loud as possible with every crack of the bat. 7-5, then 8-5, then 12-5.

After the 8th Sweet Caroline lifts up the crowd, the Dropkick Murphy's make us laugh, and we love the Dirty Water.

Outside Fenway the streets are packed. People are dancing and chanting in the streets and everybody's smiling. Little kids up past bedtime are generating memories they'll carry for life. I could care less if this is finally the year, because tonight there's no place I'd rather be and no group of people I'd rather be around.

Go Sox.

You Shall Know Our Velocity

2004-09-22T14:17:00.000-07:00

Dave Eggers' first novel, "You Shall Know Our Velocity," chronicles the week long trip of two childhood friends in their mid-twenties. Their third best friend, Jack, has just been killed in a car accident and, in an unrelated event, the narrator Will has inherited a decent sum of money in the tens of thousands. He and his buddy Hand decide to blow it all in a week by giving it to needful strangers in remote locations around the world. Their travels take them to Senegal, other parts of Africa and Latvia where they follow through with their plan and continuously attempt to cope with Jack's recent death.

As in Eggers' first major work, the memoir "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius," the novel confronts and discusses death and loss.

It's a decent story and a pretty good idea in general, but were it not for Eggers' great narrative voice, descriptive capabilities and pop-culture references I'm not sure I'd recommend this book. Here's what I mean. During the junior high dance called the Champagne Snowball, Will remembers slow dancing to Spandau Ballet and thinks,

"Feel the heat of her chest against yours. Feel the heave. You will never know heaving like that again so soak in that heave."

Good stuff. I remember that feeling, now that he mentions it.

Hand is a great character too and if I still had the English major prowess I once had I'd discuss the significance of Hand (action) and Will (drive) and the possibility that they are two halves of one person. I won't go into that here, though. Not sure I can back it up in these 10 minutes.

Why do they give away all of Will's money? What is attempting to accomplish with this? In my assessment, he's trying to do all of the following -

- rid himself of earthly possessions to prepare to join Jack in death, via suicide
- be generally self-destructive due to extreme grief
- feel better through random philanthropy
- be ashamed of having money for nothing while so many others suffer

This last point is significant because it underscores Will's survivor's guilt, the central theme of the novel. At one point, in response to the worldwide problem of hunger and poverty, Will says something like, "Imagine the collective suspension of disbelief required for tourism."

Looking forward to more fiction from Eggers. It was better, more condensed and much tighter than "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius."

"You Shall Know Our Velocity" is a good read, worth checking out.

10 minute rambles

2004-09-22T11:42:00.000-07:00

The following blogs will consist of 10 minute rambles on a variety of topics, including but not limited to the following:

- the presidential election
- baseball
- movies
- politics in general
- love and death in the American novel

Enjoy.